Into The Mindset
by topazshine
Summary: A little extract from Eclipse but in EPOV. It's always fun to get inside his brooding mind.


_**A little extract from Eclipse but in EPOV. It's always fun to get inside his brooding mind. **_

**So, I was reading little bits of Eclipse and I started to read this part and Edward POV just crept into my head when reading. I should probably be a bit longer, but I felt the need to leave it as it is. **

**Enjoy!**

"Light homework load tonight." I commented.

"Mmm," Bella mumbled

"Do you suppose I'm allowed inside again?" I enquired

"Charlie didn't throw a fit when you picked me up for school," It wasn't that he didn't throw a fit, it was that he didn't throw a fit out loud. I had trouble picking up Charlie's mind but with the few thoughts that I could catch, I could tell he wasn't happy with me, and the situation. Let's just say, he's not my biggest fan and I don't blame him. He has good reason to hate me. I left his daughter, I broke her, and even with my greatest efforts, she would never truly be fixed. Though she couldn't admit it, I knew the pain she experienced every time I left, even for the shortest amount of time.

We headed inside, and then straight to Bella's room. I took my regular spot on her bed whilst she put away her bag and turned on her decrepit old computer. I gazed out of the window until I heard Bella's fingers snapping against her desk. As she impatiently drummed her fingers, I silently travelled over to her at top speed. I carefully placed my hand over hers and held her impatient fingers still.

"Are we a little impatient today?" I murmured. She was still staring at the screen when I asked but her head began to turn.

She met my eyes, and appeared to have something to say but no words escapes her mouth. My face was just inches from hers and I felt a rush of desire flood over me. Seconds later my lips were moving against her perfectly warm ones. I let my desire overrule my rational mind as we kissed, therefore I allowed the kiss to deepen. I tangled my hands in her hair making certain that her lips would not leave mine. As one of my hands slipped down Bella's back, her arms locked around my neck. This kiss deepened a little more but then she shivered . I immediately loosened my grip and prepared to have Bella complain about the kiss ending all to soon. Before I had a chance to pull away she moulded herself to my shape, making the most of the kiss. She, foolishly, grazed her tongue along my lower lip. She was foolish because she couldn't understand. She couldn't understand how much of a danger I was to her. If I ever lost control around she would be in immortal danger, no pun intended.

I completely pulled my face away from hers and broke Bella's hold on me. I gave one low chuckle, mostly because I was trying to shake the _want _out of my system. What Bella could never fully understand was how much I wanted her, physically. I couldn't put words to it, I didn't know how to explain it.

I tried to compose my face before it gave me away. I tried to hide the excitement I felt, but I was pretty sure I failed.

"Ah, Bella," I sighed, when I was sure my voice was controlled enough to speak.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not."

"And I should feel sorry that you're not sorry, but I don't," I could never truly be sorry about kissing Bella. If I believed in my self control, I would spend a lot more of my time kissing Bella. "Maybe I should go sit on the bed."

Bella exhaled heavily. "If you think that's necessary..." It was necessary but not wanted. I craved Bella's closeness. I craved the warmth that seemed to radiate from every surface of her body.

I pulled my mouth into the crooked smile that I knew she loved and moved over to the bed. Bella shook her head a few times and turned back to her computer. I knew Bella's reason for using the computer and thought I should say something.

"Tell Renee I said hello,"

"Sure thing." Bella replied. I lounged on Bella's bed and forced my eyes to wander around the room rather than allowing them to focus on Bella. I gazed out of the window for a little while, thinking. Alice's vision came flooding back into my head. She has foreseen no danger, but I had to do something. I had to get Bella away. All it would take was a last minute decision or change of mind and Victoria would pose a threat. But what could I do?

Then, the idea come to me. The airplane tickets, from Carlisle and Esme, from Bella's last birthday. Just the thought of the day caused me pain, but I pushed the memory away. The airplane tickets, I reminded myself. Maybe, since Bella was no longer grounded, I could convince her to go to Florida to visit her mother. I mean, Bella didn't have to know about Victoria, she had no need to worry. I would just, casually, mention that Bella hadn't seen her mother in a while and that now would be a good opportunity to go. Actually, if I remembered correctly, the tickets were about to expire, so it would be a good opportunity, there would be no need for my little white lie. I just needed to find the tickets and bring them up in conversation.

My eyes surveyed the room until they settled on a black box with a mess of wires escaping out the back of it. It took me a second to realise what it was, and then I felt stupid for not noticing that it was gone from Bella's truck in the first place. I stared at the mutilated radio in amazement, I suppose. I wondered what must have possessed Bella to do such a thing. I mean, I knew she wasn't a person who could accept gifts well, but what reason could she have had for _killing it?_

Then, it hit me like a tonne of bricks. It was my leaving. It was obvious, I would never forgive myself for what I had done. I broke her, and I would never stop trying to make up for it. I would never stop trying to mend the wounds I had inflicted on her.

I slowly, and silently made my way over the where the box lay. It was near the floor board where I had hid the tickets under. I knew Bella had taken out the CD and the photos but I hoped that the tickets remained there.

I carefully and again silently lifted the floor board and saw the tickets.

Bella was shutting down the PC now, so I grabbed the tickets and put the floor board back in place. As Bella turned I brought my eyes back to the radio.

"What did you _do _to this?" I asked, while putting on a horror-struck voice.

"It didn't want to come out of the dashboard." She said with a slight shrug.

"So, you felt the need to torture it?"

"You know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally."

I covered my face in faux horror and continued. "You killed it."

Bella shrugged. "Oh well," she said. Maybe this was my opportunity to bring up her unused birthday presents. I wouldn't be dishonest in the fact, when I mentioned that it would hurt their feelings if the presents went unused.

"It would hurt their feelings if they saw this," I started. "I guess it's a good thing that you've been under house arrest. I'll have to get another one in place before they notice.

"Thanks, but I don't need a fancy stereo."

"It's not for your sakes that I'm gonna replace it." Bella sighed. Now was my chance to talk about the tickets.

"You didn't get much good out of your birthday presents last year," I said. I pulled the tickets up and fanned myself with them. I could see the change in Bella's face. It still hurt her to think about last September, and to be honest, it hurt me as well. Again, I pushed back the memories. The memory of Jasper trying to attack Bella. That day is, and would remain, one of the worst day of my life. I had only experience two worse. Number one, the day I left. Number two, the 24 hours that I lived believing Bella was dead, believing that she killed herself. In waited for an answer, though my previous question was more of a statement of fact rather than a question. When I received no answer I took it upon myself to continue.

"Do you realize these are about to expire?" I asked.

"No. I'd forgotten all about them actually." Bella's voice was flat, as she obviously tried to disguise any traces of pain from it. I made sure that my face was positive, even though I could easily relate to the pain that Bella was feeling. I hid any trace of negativity that could be portrayed through facial expression and focused on the task in hand. I had get Bella to go to Florida this weekend.

"Well, we still have a little time. You've been liberated...and we have no plans this weekend, as you refuse to go to prom with me." It was so funny when I had asked Bella if she wanted to attend prom. She freaked out. In my opinion, the last prom we attended together wasn't so bad. I had enjoyed myself, at the very least but still, she refused to attend her senior prom. I wanted to laugh at the memory but I fought it back, but a grin pushed it's way through. "Why not celebrate your freedom this way?"

It was this question that allowed Bella to hop on to my train of thought. She obviously hadn't seen where I was going with this because she gasped and said "by going to Florida?"

"You did say something about the continental US being allowable." Bella's face turned suspicious at this point and she glared at me.

"Well?" I demanded, a little to harshly I might add, but I was concerned for Bella. "Are we going to see Renee or not?" I hadn't counted on any kind of resistance on Bella's part, maybe Charlie but not Bella.

"Charlie would never allow it."

"Charlie can't stop you from visiting your mother. She still has primary custody."

"Nobody had custody of me. I'm an adult." Now, she was just helping me prove my point. I grinned.

"Exactly." Bella began to ponder this. I could only guess at what was going on in her mind, but if my guesses were correct, and they normally were, I would say that she was weighing up the advantages and disadvantages of seeing Renee. Con; Charlie would be very mad, but not for too long. From the very little that I had picked up from his mind, he loved Bella so much that his anger tended to fade almost instantly. He mostly played angry after his real anger had subsided, he played on it so he could seem like more of an authority figure. Pro; she hadn't seen Renee for so long. From what I knew she had seen her twice in the last two year and once had been in a hospital bed and the second, which was during my time away, wasn't exactly a great visit either, from what Bella has said, she was more or less catatonic.

Bella sighed. "Not this weekend." _What? _I hadn't planned on this. I thought it would be easy.

"Why not?" It was times like these when I absolutely hated the fact that I couldn't read her mind. What I wouldn't give to have just a tiny glimpse into her head, even if it was limited like it was with Charlie, it would be something.

"I don't want to fight with Charlie. Not so soon after he's forgiven me." I defiantly hadn't planned on it being this hard. I had to rethink my _strategy, _as it were.

"I think this weekend is perfect,"

"Another time," she muttered as she shook her head. What could I do? Guilt? It was worth a shot, I would do anything that would guarantee Bella's safety.

"You aren't the only one whose been trapped in this house, you know." I frowned. Suspicion spread across Bella's face again as she took in what I was saying. I wasn't being my normal self, she had good reason to suspect me of something but I would do my up most to keep that something from her. I didn't want her to worry unnecessarily.

"You can go anywhere you want,"

"The outside world holds no interest for me without you." Bella rolled her eyes at my statement but I was being nothing but honest. It was the most honest thing I had said since we had returned home from school. "I'm serious," I added, just so she knew.

"Let's take the outside world slowly, all right? For example. We could start with a movie in Port Angeles..." What now? Bella had made up her mind, and after that had happened there was very little to be done about it. I groaned, this was much more hassle that I had planned on.

"Never mind. We're talk about it later."

"There's nothing left to talk about." I shrugged. What could I do? I had to get Bella away from Forks. I just had to.

"Okay, then, new subject," Bella said. "What did Alice see today at lunch?" Damn, I had hoped she had forgotten about that. I kept my face composed, at least, I hope I did. I had no other choice. I had to lie, even though I hated to do it to her. It wasn't necessary to worry her.

"She's been seeing Jasper in a strange place, somewhere in the south-west, she thinks, near his former...family. But he had no conscious intentions of going back." I sighed. "It's got her worried." It wasn't a total lie. Alice had had vision similar to my description before, it just wasn't the vision she has seen at lunch.

"Oh." She had been expecting worse. And with her track record she had good reason to. Ever since we had met it had been one disaster after another. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I didn't realize you'd noticed," I said. "It's probably nothing important, in any case." I hated hiding the whole truth but I had to protect her. I would do anything to protect her and that was that. Nothing would ever change that need, and I wouldn't want anything to. I loved that I had someone to nurture and I loved that, even if she hated it, she let me protect her. Most of the time, any ways.

**So, did you like? **

**Let me know what you think! **


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